How Are You Able to Show Up Consistently in Ways that Matter?
As a leader, it’s easy to show up and lead when things are going well. As Jack, one of my former IBM colleagues, always said, “That is not leading. That is going with the flow downriver. True leadership shows up during tough times, when you have to stake a claim and maybe make an unpopular decision, or when you have to set a direction when the future is uncertain.”
I’ve been working with leaders to develop themselves and their teams for over 30 years and one thing that has become increasingly more apparent to me in the last few years is how much leaders need spaces and forums to process all that they carry.
A leader’s job can be unforgiving. We have high expectations of people who lead us – whether it’s at a company, in the boardroom, in the classroom, in government or at home. If we are taking direction from anyone in authority, we put our trust in them that they have the answers and they have our best interests at heart. And if you are the leader, you are probably painfully aware that all eyes are on you, particularly during a crisis or when times are tough. It’s your job as a leader to help people figure out where to go and what to do. You may not have all the right answers, but people surely expect you to at least have the right questions and have a place to start.
Often the things you do that nobody sees are what allow you to make the best decisions, take the right actions, or listen with presence and intent to the people you lead. It’s about how you care for yourself in ways that matter so you can be fully present to tend to whatever comes your way.
Whether it’s reading about the latest global crisis or climate change on the news, dealing with a challenging client, having a day of back-to-back meetings, planning for an ambitious client event, or having a family member call with some upsetting news, I have stressors that can throw me off balance. What do I really mean by balance? I mean feeling grounded and being able to attend to whatever events show up – expected and unexpected - so that I am able to make the most optimal decisions, take action, or just be with what is – with clarity and ease.
I’m guessing you are no different than me. Sometimes we have a lot going on – wanted and unwanted – and we are still being with it and thriving and tending to whatever shows up. Other times, it’s one huge event or the aggregation of all the little stressors that just throws us off – we get stressed, we can’t think clearly, we take things personally, we overreact, we withdraw, we get sick. We all have our go-to reactions and coping strategies.
Consistently engaging in self-care practices on a daily and weekly basis is critical to enable you to deal with all that comes your way. This may be common knowledge but not always common practice.
My team and I piloted a program last year on self-care for leaders and it reinforced for all of us, how important it is for leaders to identify the key self-care practices and rituals that make a difference for them, and to have a community that supports their practice. And, this practice needs to be customized in ways that both leverage each person’s strength and address their vulnerabilities on all levels: mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, and socially. We will continue to unpack this need in the coming months.
Reflection Questions
What daily habits and health practices do you engage in, to maintain or regain your health and wellbeing? As a leader, how do you need to show up with your people – mentally, emotionally, physically, socially, and spiritually? What self-care practices help you be at your best? What enables you to have a day when you are really “on” – getting a lot accomplished and feeling energized and happy about it? How can you better support your own self-care practices and those of your people?
Suze Shaner is an executive coach and leadership & organization effectiveness consultant. She also teaches yoga and meditation – tools to keep one sane in uncertain times. She helps professionals step up to their fullest leadership, life and growth potential. At times this means getting out of their own way in getting important stuff accomplished. www.sagelead.com.