By day, I'm a leadership and organization development consultant. Outside of that role, I'm an interfaith minister. In both roles, I help people feel a greater sense of connectedness to themselves and the world around them, and find greater purpose and meaning in their work and life.

There is a particular kind of leader I have had the privilege of working with over the years — not the most decorated, not always the most senior, but unmistakably the most generative.

You know them when you walk into a room they've shaped. Something is different. People are more themselves. There is less performance, less guardedness, more of the particular aliveness that emerges when people feel genuinely safe, genuinely seen, and genuinely part of something that matters.

When leaders first encounter the word "empowered," most of them think inward.

Confidence. Self-belief. The ability to make decisions without second-guessing themselves into paralysis. And yes — all of that is part of it. But in two decades of working with leaders, I've found that the leaders who feel most genuinely empowered are not necessarily the most self-assured in a room. They are the ones who know how to be in relationship.

I've worked with a lot of leaders who feel quietly guilty about purpose.

Not because they lack it. But because they're not sure they've found it — at least not in the way they were told they would. No lightning-bolt moment. No singular calling that reorganized everything. Just a persistent, underlying sense that what they're doing matters, interrupted regularly by doubt, fatigue, and the ordinary friction of a complex life.

I want to suggest that this is not a failure of purpose. This is what purpose actually looks like.

Early in my coaching career, I sat with a man who had built something remarkable — a team, a culture, a reputation for integrity and results that others pointed to as a model. By every external measure, he was thriving.

And yet the first thing he said to me, quietly, almost as an aside, was: "I'm not sure any of them would still respect me if they really knew me."

We talk extensively about mental burnout. We talk about emotional exhaustion. We talk far less about what I'd call somatic disconnection — the gradual erosion of our relationship with our own physical experience. And yet the body is not separate from our leadership. It is the ground from which everything else grows.

Many of the leaders we work with share a quiet, common experience: they are giving a great deal — to their teams, their organizations, their communities — while receiving very little that actually restores them.

I’m always aware that the community around my work is beautifully diverse. Some of you are here because of my executive coaching and organizational development work. Others are drawn to my interfaith ministry. And many of you are curious about how these worlds intersect.

This recent sermon lives right at that intersection.

We’ve been taught to respond to stress, overwhelm, and change with a familiar prescription: self-care.

Take a break. Get more rest. Set better boundaries.

And while these matter, they often don’t go far enough.

Over the past two weeks, I led a day retreat of A Fuller Cup™ and co-led a virtual weekend of Seasons of Need™. In both spaces, something meaningful happened: people slowed down enough to reconnect with their true nature.

They had the opportunity to be seen, heard, and reflect on how to get their needs more fully met — while also exploring how we build more sustainable communities of care.

These are outcomes that matter deeply in today’s demanding and uncertain world.

We live in a time of constant demand.

Deadlines. Decisions. Divisiveness.
Caregiving. Change. Complexity.

Many of the leaders and caregivers I work with are deeply committed people. They show up. They serve. They hold space. They carry responsibility — often quietly.

And yet, when it comes to themselves, self-care can feel indulgent. Optional. Even selfish.

But here’s the truth:

Self-care is not a withdrawal from responsibility.
It is what makes responsible leadership sustainable.

Many leaders are exhausted—not because they lack commitment or competence, but because they’ve been carrying more than ever, for too long.

Burnout, in this context, isn’t a failure.
It’s information.

It tells us something about both the self and the systems we’re operating within.

Many leaders in caring professions — coaches, therapists, ministers, doctors, nurses — approach self-care the same way they approach their work: with commitment, discipline, and a desire to do it well.

But when we bring our high-achieving, goal-oriented selves into self-care, it can quietly defeat the very purpose.

True self-care isn’t something to conquer.
It’s something that nourishes.

It’s about identifying the practices you look forward to, return to again and again, and rely on to sustain your energy, clarity, and capacity to serve.

If you are someone who leads and serves with heart, you are likely carrying more than most people realize.

Ambitious, values-driven leaders often neglect their own care—not because they don’t know better, but because the needs around them feel urgent and unrelenting. Over time, this takes a toll.

I am declaring this year to be one of Collective Care. The pace of change, the challenge of complexity and uncertainty, the poly crisis before us… you name your stressor. They are taking their toll on our individual and collective well-being. We all have enough to consider, on top of our jobs, to have us feeling depleted, or on the verge of burnout – even in the context of a new year beginning.

It’s been a while since I communicated, as I have been full in so many ways! I am still ensconced in my leadership and organization development work – and I graduated from seminary in June as an Interfaith/Interspiritual Minister. This just adds to my eclectic background and ways I can be present and of service to a world transforming.

What is your Personal Vision?

Do you have one? If so, is it clear, still relevant, and compelling?

Ideally, you want your goals to align with your vision. This is how you sustain energy and commitment to achieving your goals. It puts all your goals in context of why you are doing what you are doing—what is the bigger picture for you.

We work with senior leadership teams a lot, and sometimes, they are hesitant to bring in an outside consultant to support them in reaching their next level of effectiveness. The thinking is, we are smart, ambitious, successful people, so why can’t we do it ourselves? Sometimes, you can.

Right after I finished filming today’s Sage Tidbit video, I received an email from a colleague: “I just wanted to check in to see if we needed to clean up from the way we left things.” I so appreciated this reach out—that they did it and the way in which they did it. I interpreted this as their being sensitive to the possibility that their words or tone may not have landed with me in the way intended.

Words, Thoughts and Feelings Matter.

Today, I’m sharing a story about one of my clients, Mark (name changed), and how he was able to honor his late father's advice while he was meeting some leadership challenges in terms of how he developed the leaders who reported to him. In Mark’s story, he was protecting a leader who he perceived to be weak, but in doing so, he was allowing harm to come to other employees. Sometimes we can do harm by not doing anything.